I'm Very Proud

Eryn recently came upstairs from the laundry room (and hence the beer fridge) clutching a Summit Extra Pale Ale - she handed it to me at the kitchen table, with a big grin on her face, and announced...

"Eryn's hand cold like Daddy's beer."

Vacation in the Dells, Vacation in the Dells, Hi Ho...

We had a mini-vacation this weekend at Great Wolf Lodge in the Dells and our friends Dan and Katie (and their son, Conner) went with us. We drove the kids, as we had a portable DVD player to keep them distracted with Dora and The Wiggles, which was only an issue whenever a pungent smell drifted toward the front of the car. Mostly it was idyllic, involving sharing crackers and fruit snacks, sleeping a lot, and some very messy taffy. Highlights were the snow storm on the way (which was like little stinging pellets of styrofoam - below you can see the top of Eryn's head as she sprints for Mom after checking out the orange moose - as you can see, it wasn't bothering Dan so much), Eryn crawling up on the bridge under the big bucket (last time she was afraid of it - this time she was only afraid of the kid who kept trying to pour cold water on her), the frightening new water slide (for the adults, not the 1-2 year olds) called The Howlin' Tornado that wasn't there last time (58' drop - way more frightening than a floom), Conner coming down the a big, slower, floom with his Dad, Conner seemingly deciding the hot tub was really his favorite place, breakfast at Denny's (not the chain, a local place), seeing downtown "The Dells" for the first time (even if it was closed - we had no idea all that crap was there last time we visited), and several hours of running around Wiley's Woods shooting balls at each other.


The tube from inside:

The tube from outside (we were staying behind it to the right, you could see it from our room)

Why Christy could be my ex-wife - because her ex...

• likes the same movies as me
• shows up at Coldstone at the same time as me
• owns rental property within two houses of me
• tried to buy the house for sale two down from my house
• likes British women (like me)
• has been hit numerous times by Christy, like me

...scary

Bike Blogging

This is just so cool - "New Design Could Transform 1st Bike Ride".

Leftovers

Item 1: Great Divide Titan IPA - great googly moogly is this ever delicious. It's like hops in a bottle - I might almost like it more than Summit.

Item 2: I was very confused after drinking an Item 1 because I realized there was a piece of paper in front of me that says, verbatim, "I hate the commies and cheese" - and it's in my handwriting. It took a little while to process, but I determined it's a reference to the game "War! Age of Imperialism" that I've been playing on the computer. I remember a game in which they sneakily undermined my authority - I must have been really irritated. Why I name my opponents "Commies" and "Cheese" - well, I'm just not very original sometimes - I'm in a hurry to play rather than a funk to be original with my naming standards (applies to my coding as well). I'm currently playing a round where the Democrats, Liberals, Republicans, and a few other parties are fighting it out versus Pissboy (my friend Dan's favorite moniker) and Scooter. The world is looking a very Democrat blue at the moment, which actually makes me feel not so bad about losing to the computer. The game - a computer rendition of a board game - is actually pretty fun, but it's absolutely a board game. I own several Eagle games, so I thought this would be a good game to own, particularly as it was on the sale rack at Target for $6.97 a copy and supported multi-player online capability. I actually had Pooteewheet look at another Target for an extra copy so I'd have four (4) to share with my gaming friends. At $28 for four copies, it's significantly cheaper than the actual board game.

Item 3: my mother was in a Vespa accident, yet talked to me on the phone without explaining that someone had literally run her over. Nice, Mom.

Item 4: my sister, LissyJo (and husband Ceri and niece Amelie) are back from Australia. They have more chutzpa than me to take an infant on a 16 hour plane trip...twice.

Item 5: my Dad is having troubles with his acid reflux - big problems - and seems kind of bummed. He's been on a diet for a long time. If the issue is that he's holding still and not getting better, but that it's not hurting him, and he feels like he lost all that weight and did all that dieting for no reason - well, he looks great and I'm sure he's 1000% healthier on all sorts of other fronts, if not the acid reflux front and he didn't get worse, so that's something. We here at Casa de McVay are happy he's o.k.

Item 6: Mean Mr. Mustard is sick. I hope he's feeling better for the weekend. Being sick during the work week is one thing, even if you have to come in for emergencies - losing your weekend is unacceptable.

Item 7: I took my road bike out for a spin. Yeah, it was only like 10 blocks, but I put on the shoes, trued the wheels and went. Damn, that makes me happy. Clipping into the frogs and just pounding it, even in jeans, ecstasy. The back wheel is still a little untrued - but functional. I think I'm going to just replace the rims with some wider ones - I have the money, so why not. Speaking of which, I took my mountain bike in after the whole Iron Man slipping chain into the ditch lose the keys ordeal and they put a new chain on it while informing me "your cassette could be bad too" - and of course it is, absolutely, I know it - it has probably 4000 miles on it. A new chain ($23 with labor) wasn't too bad, but new cassettes and rings is a bit of an expense. I'm about 24 hours from just deciding that I should take it up to my parents' cabin (flat - so it'll last for a decade without a new cassette) and get a new bike - a hybrid - easier on me, easier on pulling a Burley, and after I deduct the hypothetical cost of a cassette, probably $200 or so.

Item 8: A friend of mine actually got in touch with me today after about a decade - an old D&D buddy who was also a Scoutmaster and fellow Order of the Arrow member. I went looking for him once before with no luck, so it was very pleasant to have him find me (helps that I've had the same email addresses for approximately 10+ years). He might be interested to read this (if he's reading), but I actually have the candle that he had on his OA overnight. Not one of the candles from the box of whatever was sitting around, but the candle that he had in his campsite overnight. For those of you that were never in the OA - meaningless - for those of you that were, that's a pretty serious coup.

Item 9: Ming - I made this so long because you hate long posts. I very much doubt you got this far >:)

Tall Brad is an International Menace

Seems that there was a call about a lethal weapon at a middle school that turned out to be nothing more than "a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa, and jalapenos, wrapped inside tin foil and a white T-shirt." Based on Brad's Chipotle habit, he must be the biggest international arms dealer the world has ever known.

On the other hand, 30 inches? 2.5 feet of burrito?! I hope that was a full day's worth of meals.

Probably a Reason I'm a Liberal

Not probably a reason I became one, just probably a reason that implies that I have no choice but to be one. I had read a couple of articles about how Rep. Gerald Allen of Alabama was trying to get all books by gay authors banned from schools and public libraries, but it absolutely never occurred to me until I read the caption on that post from Pandagon that I was currently reading a book by a gay author. I've been reading "The Picture of Dorian Gray" on and off for the last few weeks as my night table book - heck, I've even been reading it in the bathtub when Eryn will leave me alone long enough to soak and read. I'm very aware that Oscar Wilde was gay - it's obvious the story has a lot of gay characters - I mean, he went to prison and I believe the book was used as partial proof of his "crime" - but it just didn't ever occur to me to think, "Hey, some people have a problem with this book." It's a good book, with great writing. Period. But Allen says...

"It's not healthy for America, it doesn't fit what we stand for,"..."And they will do whatever it takes to reach their goal."

Please, take as much time to compose your own speeches/writing as the writers you're trying to ban. You should be saying, "It's not healthy for my twisted perception of America, it doesn't fit what particular, conservative, uptight, sexually repressed, hypocritical, Christians stand for which is banning and burning books and, if at all possible, certain people who write them, like some combination of The Handmaid's Tale and Farenheit 451, were I ever to read those books instead of just following blindly what my pastor tells me."

On a distinctly positive note, the defrocked Methodist minister, Irene (Beth) Stroud was refrocked today. As a lapsed Methodist who tends to stay away from organized Methodist religion because, 1.) they defrock gay minsters and 2.) they produce the likes of G.W. Bush, I'm very happy with their decison. Yes, they're trying to find technicalities to let her back while not upsetting their flock, but they're trying 8-1, which gives me hope that somewhere, deep in the U.M.C. there's not just a grain of sense, but an overwhelming tide of sense. While I'll never be satisified until everything anti-gay is off their tablets, this is at least a step in the right direction.

My Non-activation Receive Hurts

It's a tough day when I receive 549 build error tasks after two days of development without compiling, only one of which prevents compilation and states:

"you must specify at least one already-initialized correlation set for a non-activation receive that is on a non-selfcorrelating port"

And who says Microsoft error messages aren't specific enough?

Thought for the Day

Every weekday morning, when I drive to work, I drive down a hill and past a church with a mutable sign facing the road. I'm pretty sure the holy sign-tender feels he needs to one-up himself in terms of wittiness compared to the previous week each time he's faced with a blank slate. I share his latest example because I don't feel like keeping it locked inside where it can do damage.

"Prayer: Your best heart drive anti-virus protection."

Oh yeah. Punny for Christians and developers alike (not that you can't be both, of course - but considering, it begs the combination of whether a particular, Republican, left-for-a-Christian-family-centric-company, ex-co-worker is in charge of the sign).

Last week and the week before (and I paraphrase):

"God loves knee-mail."

Which was later modified to:

"God loves knee-mail: mail and fe-mail."

Which I can only imagine he heard after service as an aside by an amused parishoner who thought the addendum would be particularly funny.

Once there was a bit up that was up for only a day - I remember it being a little questionable - so maybe church sign-guy is a risky job and subject to a lot of criticism. Personally, I'm looking forward to the day when it reads, "Jesus, Bhudda and Mohammed walked into a bar..."

Why I Shouldn't be Allowed to Sit Around Bored

So, I know Mean Mr. Mustard is from California originally and, because of this, I have to base my conception of how he met his wife on my knowledge of California's culture and dating scene, both of which are entirely formed by two sources: Love Connection and Elimidate. This leads me to believe that at some point, either Mr. Mustard was sitting in front of Chuck Woolery, getting the old we'll be back in two and two, while up on the screens were his wife, his ex-wife, and Miss Yolo County 1974, each dissing him for trying to grab a kiss at the door after spilling wine all over at a tacky, faux-hip restaurant, or that at some point, he went out with all three of them and cut a rather sad groove while shirtless at a local dance bar while they competed for his approval by writhing around to see who could do the best facsimilie of a public lap dance, at which point I'm pretty sure his wallet chain, complete with keys, would have really gotten in the way. I don't even want to consider the hot tub part that always comes next.

Am I close, MMM?

Cookie Monster v. Elmo?

Or maybe Grover v. Elmo - hard to say, though Oscar has always struck me as a bit more of the Republican (but he does show a heart in "Elmo's Adventure in Grouchland"). That little ditty at the end of Elmo's World is bound to get a bit spookier... "Republicans...Republicans...Republicans hate gays..." or perhaps, "Silly shade...are you hiding sinners having consensual sex?" or even, "How does Mr. Noodle's Brother, Mr. Noodle, punish the wicked, treasonous liberals?" (it'd be a tough haul for Michael Jeter if he were still alive).

Check out the news by Elise at After School Snack or over at The Progress Report.

The Privatization of PBS
According to people within the Public Broadcasting Service, the supposedly politically independent PBS "is being forced to toe a more conservative line in its programming" by its oversight agency, the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, which is being stacked with right-wing appointees. Over the past few years, President Bush has attempted to flood the CPB board with partisan political operatives. The result, according to a senior FCC official, is that today CPB "is engaged in a systematic effort not just to sanitize the truth, but to impose a right-wing agenda on PBS. It's almost like a right-wing coup. It appears to be orchestrated."

Ironman 2005

Well, I went, I saw, I conquered, as long as “conquering” means simply finishing. It was definitely cold, I noticed the bank said 38 degrees at 8:00 a.m., about an hour after I’d started (here are some pictures, below – note the lack of kickstands on some bikes, Steve, I didn’t even take a picture of the hill where most people lay their bikes down – it has hundreds of bikes without kickstands), and there was some ice on the ground, but it wasn’t so cold I had to wear my wool socks, and it wasn’t so cold I had to wear my lobster mitts – however, the balaclava was almost a must for the first half. There was a teenager watching the ride from the cement, front step of her house around 7:30 a.m. though, and she was wearing shorts, a t-shirt and her dog, so maybe it wasn’t as cold as I thought (or maybe the dog was warmer than it looked). I didn’t really manage to loosen up until about the 8 mile mark, half way to the first rest stop, and it didn’t help that I took a tumble about mile 10, right before 4 miles of pretty much uphill (I forgot how hilly the Ironman is – when it isn’t being hilly, it’s busy being cold and windy). My chain and ring have been wearing for a while and I thought they were fine because I’ve been pulling a burley up and down hills in Eagan, but apparently I was wrong – I hit a hill, stood up to keep up the pace, and almost went over my handlebars as the chain rotated freely around the ring – ended up in the ditch with a small rip in my windbreaker-type pants. No blood, though, so that was good.



At the rest stop, I still felt pretty strong and had a cup of coffee that I can’t describe as anything other than morphine-like. I hadn’t had anything to eat yet, hadn’t had any caffeine yet and was cold, and when the coffee hit my stomach it was like dropping a shot of vodka that radiated from there into my limbs. I topped it off with a banana.

I should have known that my confidence in climbing all those hills was going to be challenged, because when I turned onto Highway 50, just after Farmington, with the wind blowing from my right, I suddenly had to shift way (I love my little ring) down and literally crawl along with the wind pushing me backwards. You sort of expect to see birds being blown backwards by the cornfield next to that road, it’s almost always that bad. But at least it wasn’t raining like last year. Here’s a picture of some flags on that portion of the route – these aren’t on the open field – they’re relatively sheltered by both a hill and a building.


When I got all done and back to my car, absolutely exhausted, I dug for my keys and found….nothing. I had my credit cards, camera in some wool socks, all my change, but no keys – they being presumably the only thing that hopped out of my bag when I crashed. So I stowed some things under the car and some things on the bike and hiked back out again – not to find the keys, mind you, but to call Pooteewheet to come and get me. She graciously agreed and, realizing I was famished, I grabbed a candy bar at the Quick Stop to eat. The sign said 2/85 cents. I took it to the front counter with the 70 cents I had left over after the phone call, and the woman rung it up, 75 cents. I said, “They’re two for 85 cents, isn’t 75 cents a little high for one?” The cashier assured me just one was indeed 75 cents, and if I wanted one for anything close to what I had on me, I needed another 15 cents. Shamed, I handed it back and walked out.

Jen found me at the parking lot, gave me keys, took me to lunch, and then took my brand new Ironman vest, sort of a five years on the Ironman gift to myself, away from me and went to Sin City. I’m still awake, so that’s something. Could be that my new coffee maker is helping out – but it’s full of decaf, so very unlikely (here it is, sitting next to my favorite cup, given to me by DannyJo back when we were at RPI).

Your Shakespeare Lesson for the Day

I remember the good old days when I actually had pretensions to do something other than programming. I came across this posting on the web this morning (I was digging around in Yahoo and Google based on some referrals to my blog), from back when I lived and breathed English literature and history. I was actually reading Lear for fun at the time. It makes me just a little sad to realize I didn't follow this path in life. Of course, if I'd have stuck with every path in life that I had temporarily been on, like Navy ROTC (they FUBARed it, I escaped), I'd have been either dropping smart bombs on Iraqis through one or two conflicts during my 6+ post-college years with them, or designing better materials for smart bombs so someone else could drop them. Not really my cup o' tea.

(I'm the responder, by the way, not the questioner).

From: Scott D. McVay
Date: Monday, 17 Mar 1997 20:46:43 -0500 (EST)
Subject: 8.0363 Re: Disguise and Queries
Comment: Re: SHK 8.0363 Re: Disguise and Queries

In a message dated 97-03-17 10:08:31 EST, Lisa Hopkins
writes:

<< b) I was reading _King Lear_ last night and was struck for the
first time by the phrase 'milk of Burgundy'. The Arden editor glosses
this as something like 'pasture - the effect for the cause', but does
anyone know of any other comments? >>

I have The Complete Signet Classic Shakespeare (1972), with a trans. of
King Lear by Russell Fraser (U of Michigan). His note on I.i.84 -- "The
vines of France and milk of Burgundy" is: "milk i.e., pastures."
Wouldn't Lear just be categorizing France and Burgundy by their
stereotypical agricultural products?

Scott D. McVay (TudorVII)

Seize Orlando Bloom's Sword

I happen to know that Mean Mr. Mustard's wife thinks Orlando Bloom is dreamy. I'm pretty sure that means he should Seize A Sword Signed by Orlando! If it's not phallic enough for Orlando to be auctioning off toy swords, there's special attention given to the fact that they've been subjected to his John Hancock.

You can click here to bid, Mr. Mustard. Make sure your bid is the highest of the two, because there's a definite qualitative difference between the swords, and only the high bid gets first pick:

On one sword, he writes: "Peace and Love in the Kingdom of Heaven. Orlando Bloom." Written on the second sword: "Peace in the Kingdom of Heaven."

Ming's Revenge

I noticed on Ming's Netflix list that he had watched Vanity Fair. There was a 100% probability I'd end up watching this movie as it encompasses many of my favorite things, like Reese Witherspoon, young(ish) British women in general, and British historical novels that take place prior to around 1900 (Shakespeare, Dickens, Austen). While I give Ming a hard time about watching chick flicks, I admit that I really enjoy most things Jane Austen-y (Vanity Fair is Thacker-y, but it's the same idea - Thackery just isn't as funny as Austen), I just get to cover my chick-flick watching in the guise of an interest in history, which has the added benefit of saving me from Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood and Yentl. All that aside, Ming is an inconsiderate friend for not warning me that I would be subjected to a helping of old lady butt. He knows my opinions on Kathy Bates' nudity in About Schmidt and the very idea of watching Calendar Girls. Just for that, I'm not going to tell him when there's a large snake involved in a movie if I've seen it first - he'll just have to figure out for himself that Anacondas: Secret of the Blood Orchid isn't a Sean Connery/Catherine Zeta Jones sequel (of course, he'll probably avoid it even if he thinks that as he doesn't approve of February-December romances).

Pulling the Plug

Today my coffee maker died. It's been a long, difficult, and painful death for both of us. Over the last year it's tried its best to deliver me the nourishment I need to face the workday, but with less and less success, even after Pooteewheet bombarded it with vinegar and limeaway to clean out the little deposits, rendering the house uninhabitable for short stretches. I knew when it started leaving small, white chips on top of the grounds that the end was very near. This morning, when I got up, it had been running for well over an hour and the pot was only half full and a puddle of condensation surrounded the base. There was a constant whisper of steam issuing from it, but no "drip, drip, drip". While it might currently be able to power an 1880s automobile, it's of no use for making java. Sadly, I shut it off and microwaved two cups of water to pour through the grounds so that I could flush out the mud in the pot. I silently toasted it this morning as Erik filled our mugs - good night, sweet prince, may the burr of grinding coffee beans sing thee to thy rest.

A Very Special Posting

I'd call this posting "For Ming" because it's such chick t.v. and he keeps trying to get me to watch The Notebook and Calendar Girls, but then again, I could call it "For Klund and Mean Mr. Mustard" because it's about their favorite actress - but really, no one deserves to have any piece of this associated with them in any way whatsoever.

Hallmark Hall of Fame will be presenting, on May 1, Riding the Bus With My Sister, starring Rosie O'Donnell and Andie McDowell - directed by Anjelica Huston. Ugh. Just, ugh. The mere idea makes me not want to watch t.v. in May just in case I catch a bit of it while channel surfing.

The picture with the guy in the jacket, by the way, is not a picture culled from the web. It's a picture Pooteewheet and I took in Chicago last fall when we were visiting my sister in law. I imagine, unlike me, he's anxiously awaiting the first of May (clickable).

Crossdressing

Yesterday was Eryn's two-year checkup with the Nurse Practitioner. At one point, she noted that Eryn should begin potty-training soon, and told Eryn, "You'll get to wear panties like Mom and Dad."

Is it that obvious?

You Know You Want to Go

In the City Pages event guide, this shows up immediately before an advertisement for buying a 64 oz. growler of beer to go at Town Hall brewery. My friend Kyle once consumed a lot of alcohol and then rode his bike in the covered pedistrian bridge at the University of Minnesota with very predictable results (from his perspective, the bridge should have been much longer than it actually was, then those doors might not have been in the way). It certainly looked x-tremely painful when he came back to the apartment.

Brain Injury Association of MN: X-Treme Safety Fest
Sat Apr 23
Featuring Rich Wieber's Bicycle Stunt Show; safety demos; helmet fittings. Free. 1:00 pm to 4:30 pm. For more information call 612.378.2742 or visit www.braininjurymn.org.
Mall of America Sam Goody Central (rotunda)365 North Garden, Bloomington; 952.883.8800

Various, Numerous Doodads

So, this first item is for Christy. I really wanted to go to this (right) because I know how much it would bug you. After all, she's British, she's Minnie Driver, she looks like Lisa, and you're disgusted with me for lusting after her (Minnie, not Lisa). But, it's $29, I'm married (and old), and I bothered to listen to her music on Amazon first, so there's no chance I'll be going because her music, well, it sort of sucks.

This second item is for Klund. I heard on X-Play that the Star Wars Legos Game actually allows head-to-head play with all the characters, so you can finally kill Jar Jar Binks in a Star Wars game. Gamespy gives it something like a 4.7 out of 5 - it includes scenes from episode 3, using the force to rearrange the legos into useful shapes, interesting lego character deaths, the ability to team up Yoda and Darth Maul, no annoying dialog (legos don't talk), and the possibility of playing totally useless characters like a single square block droid. Also, you're really annoying for talking about Buster Bars on your blog - I had an overwhelming urge to eat one tonite, to the extent I sent Jen in search of them - it's entirely traceable to you.

This is for no one in particular. I recently watched Killer Whales: Wolves of the Sea on National Geographic - if you're at all interested in nature documentaries, try to catch it - it's fascinating. They address how Orca pods are really extended families with particular hunting grounds and hunting skills suited to those grounds. You get to see the whales beat up penguins so they have slow targets to practice on; use particularly strong winds to ride the surf for extra speed to catch faster penguins; snatch seals from the shallows by almost beaching (the mothers actually push the calves ashore for practice, and position themselves to help the calves back out if they get stranded); brother whales who hunt together, one swimming past slowly so the seals think he's leaving the area while the other one sneaks up to catch them as they distractedly enter the water; seal pup basketball, followed by returning the seal pup to shore (they carry it there in their teeth and drop it off, unhurt) because they're full; and finally even Orca masturbation, as they return over and over, annually, to a cove with particularly, evenly-sized rocks that are good for rubbing. It kept me up for an hour past my bed time.

Also for no one in particular, if you get a chance to watch Elling (subtitles) or Grave of the Fireflies, do it - both are wonderful. The latter is great even if you don't like anime at all - it left me depressed for two days.

And finally, overheard at work on third floor, "He's a Republican? Are there like two that work in the whole building?" (followed by much laughter). Sadly, no, there are more, I work with some of them and couldn't even escape them when I temporarily moved between groups. There's one less since the one who used to bug me the most on first floor left for a more Christian-centric company. And one other, well, I replaced her when she left to sell makeup and have children. I'd like to think I'm either driving them out or converting them, but sadly I know it's not true. On a positive note, Pooteewheet and I recently taught Eryn to use the tape recorder in her room and the tape I gave her was the first episode of Air America, so whenever Al Franken shows up between bits of recording, Eryn says "Daddy!" That's just good liberal fun.