Don't read this book...

I picked up The Goliath Stone on the new releases shelf at the library.  It's something like 316 pages of awful.  I can't actually believe Niven was a major part of this book.  There will be spoilers.  I'm trusting you won't read it, so it shouldn't matter.  I'll be quick.  People send nanobots to space to harvest a meteor.  Nanobots evolve while on Earth a rogue scientist spends time in jail using inmates as test subjects to perfect his own nanobots for humans that make them better, smarter, energy efficient, and only full of good thoughts lest they suffer seizures.  Add lots of lame sex humor and so much banter you'll want to yell at them all to shut the hell up.  Later the meteor comes back with the nanobots.  The augmented humans rush out to meet them and introduce them to sex.  Everyone is super happy except the reader who wants them to all shut the hell up.

Here are all the one star ratings on Amazon.  I didn't add my own, but you can trust that if I had written a review, it would have ended up here.  It makes it easy to nominate as the worst book I read this year.  Hopefully that's the end of it and I don't have to add, "so far."

I also greatly disliked The Oatmeal's How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You.  At least in that case I can attribute it to my general lack of interest in cat humor.  I picked it up because I thought Eryn might enjoy it, but I felt I should read it first to make sure it was child appropriate.  It was child appropriate.  It just wasn't Scooter appropriate.  There's plenty of office-based humor, but the cats just sort of ruin it for me.  Not all cat humor bothers me.  I like Catbert.  But I far prefer it when The Oatmeal sticks to strips about Christopher Columbus and Nikola Tesla.

Artists

Wow....I got told by an artist today that she didn't have time to take on a project for me, despite that I'd offered cash and she could set the terms.  The next time I see "starving artist" on something, I'm not going to believe it.  If you can refuse premium rates for my shitty (visually) stick figure comic, you obviously are making serious money.  If any of you know some artist friends, this is what I'm looking for:

We currently have two "settings", two in a cube, and across the table.  What we'd like to do is:

1. Clean up the existing images (e.g. lines not separated/no jagged lines/a more artistic feel [as much as possible with stick figures]).
2. Two in a cube modified.  Cleaned up, perhaps with a board with some generic developer text or workflow on it behind the developer on the right (with the black cloud).  That might be too cluttered - but something to add some visual busi-ness.
3. Figure out a way to clarify that the two individuals in two in a cube are sitting in front of computers without using a brand name (something applish on the back that's not an apple)
4. Modify across the table.  Cleaned up.  Something to give it a little more interest, although without cluttering the table which we have a habit of using for putting humorous items on (hats/etc).
5. A new image – The Office.  CEO/Manager type at a desk with the employee sitting in a chair facing them.  Alternately, perhaps the employee standing if it still leaves ample room for text.
6. A new image - The elevator.  Two+ people on an elevator.
7. Images should stay stick-figurish, although they can be cleaned up artistically.
8. Images should keep/incorporate the dark cloud or some recreation of the dark cloud as that's the annoyed-snarky thought bubble.
9. Images can have color, but we'd like black and white versions as well in case that's cheaper for making mugs for family for Christmas/Birthdays.
10. We own the images and all rights when all is said and done.