Dogs will never rule the world...

When I take my shoes and socks downstairs and the dog, Luna, is still her kennel in the morning, ready to go out, she stands up as I enter the room, and looks at me expectantly. Then I sit in the recliner, and she lays back down. I put on a sock and she stands up expectantly. Then realizes I'm not done, and lays back down. I put on the other sock, and she stands up, ready to go. Then realizes I'm not done, and lays back down. I work the double knot out of a dress shoe and she bolts to attention. But lays back down after it takes me more than five seconds. Shoe is going on the foot. UP! Wait...down. Other shoe is picked up, UP! Wait...down. Untying the other double knot. UP!!!! No...not done. Other shoe is finally going on, UP, UP! Wait...no leash in hand. Back down.

This is why dogs will never rule the world. They're two f-ing stupid to understand how shoes work.

Luna Hates Klund

I saw rocks in the poodles' bowls at Klund's house when we were down there and he mentioned they were for keeping the dogs from wolfing down their food in moments. Luna inhales her food. If I were to time it, she might actually be coming in at under sixty seconds in many instances. It might not be dangerous. My knowledge of dog esophagus capacity is limited. But it looks dangerous. And I need a few moments to myself, and when the dog is eating should be one of them, because ten seconds after she's done it's time for her potty break.

So, Pooteewheet brought in the rock Eryn knew was buried under the snow on the deck, and put it Luna's food bowl. Luna immediately popped it out. So when I fed her dinner, I switched her water and food bowls and put the rock in the bigger metal bowl so it was harder to dislodge. Not only did she eat for over five minutes while she pushed the rock off the food, but she added another five minutes on top of that coming back over and over to look for food under the rock, and another five minutes on top of that making return trips to lick the rock on the off chance it might actually BE food. Each time she failed to find food under the rock, or licked (or bit) the rock and found it to be lacking, she gave it and the dish a disgusted swat with her paw before padding away.

I'm sure she'll figure out a way to foil this cunning plan in the long run, just like how she figured out to push her bed out of the way and pee under it so I still have to clean pee every morning until we find a smaller replacement cage, but for now it seems to be working.

Dog Injury

Not an injury to the dog, but an injury caused by the dog. I think Luna really messed up, because I suspect Eryn isn't going to trust her for a very long time. Eryn got down on the floor to play with her and, despite frequent imperatives to the Luna over the last several weeks to stay away from Eryn's hair and stop trying to bite it, she grabbed hold of one of the two new decorative beaded braids Eryn is so proud of and hoping to show off at school and Monday and ripped it off her head by the roots.

It wasn't as bad as it could have been. No bleeding. But you could definitely feel the roots at the end of the disconnected braid. Here you can see her new bald spot, front right on her natural hairline if you're facing the same direction as Eryn. We've assured her it will grow back. But she's very sad and the Boo Boo Pooh ice pack she's had since she was a baby made an appearance from the freezer.


The severed sports braid, indicating she likes soccer twice as much as basketball (so she told me - she's extremely happy about basketball because she made her first basket this week). I feel bad, because she knows I don't ever let dogs near my face. I just don't trust them. I suspect she'll now share my mini-phobia despite how many giggly, happy pictures we have of her frolicking with the dog on the ground and in the leaves and snow over the last two months.

Special Hugs for Dogs

Because I was interested, I went searching and read this answer as to why female dogs hump their stuffed animals:

Dogs (both female and male) use the "Humping" to establish dominance over other dogs and usually has nothing to do with sex. If the dog is doing this to inanimate objects, it's usually because it's the only thing around that it feels superior to, especially if it is the dog's toy and it is around it alot, or if a new stuffed animal toy is presented it may start this right away to establish possesion. This is not an uncommon behavior and is quite normal, however weird or unattractive it may seem to humans.

Which is all fine and good. But then, as usual, I went a bit too far on the web and click into a subsequent link below the fold that answered a completely different question:

Why does your 4 year son old hump stuffed animals? Because YOU let him. This is unwanted behavior, you should stop your son from doing this behavior.

[Added later by another person: My son does this with great enthusiasm. Since he is not in any situation where he could be abused, we checked with a developmental pediatrician on how "appropriate" it was and whether we should be concerned. 1. He said not to be concerned, it's normal for some children. 2. Don't make the child feel guilty about it, even if you ask them not to do it. 3. (What we ended up doing.) Set boundaries. We told our son "special hugs" are only for stuffed animals when he's alone in his bedroom. This worked-- it's still odd-- but it worked.]

Doggy Mayhem!

Per Chris Hardwick's Twitter feed - doggy melodrama:


As an interesting aside, I remember Billy Hardwick bowling on television when I was a kid. I had NO idea it was Chris Hardwick's father: