Tuesday, November 26, 2013

How to lose at iPad games

I've been playing Lords of Waterdeep and Pandemic on my iPad lately.  Lords of Waterdeep is hard.  I was surprised.  Eryn and I watched Felicia and Wil play it on Tabletop and I didn't think it looked particularly difficult in practice.  But when I started playing it for realz it was certainly challenging, even after the game walked me through the first several turns as a learning demonstration.

Strangely, when it was over and I'd handily lost to two computer opponents, I realized that the guy I was playing looks a lot like me.  Or at least a lot like younger me.  The one of the top there.  Sort of creepy.  The tablet is scanning me.  Or perhaps the game was developed by someone who knew me when I was younger.

And here's Pandemic.  You know how often I win at Pandemic on the iPad?  Never.  Ever.  I've cured one disease.  I've cured two diseases.  I've never cured three diseases (out of four).  I lose in new ways.  I run out of cubes.  I get pandemic-ed slowly.  I get pandemic-ed in a glorious domino chain that throws me over the edge in mere moments.  Sometimes at the end of a slow burn.  Sometimes so quickly it's obvious the world never stood a chance.

That last picture...me losing.  This picture.  Me losing. Wait...those are the same game.  Now it's like I'm losing every game twice.  You can see I kept the triples away from each other and perhaps there's hope.  But that's wishful thinking.  Doom is near.  The ebola-zombie-birdflu-rage or lymes-plague-malaria-influenza conjunction is nigh.  Put on your mask and pray you don't bleed out if I'm in charge of saving your ass.

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