Sunday, January 14, 2007


Klund wants me to blog about stupid Boy Scouts who haven't earned their fireman chit. He challenges me to stick up for them. I don't stick up for stupid Boy Scouts. If they can't manage sharp things and can't manage a fire, they have no place in the wilderness. Just like if they can't handle the fact that approximately ten percent of the population is gay, they don't really have any place in polite society. I fully admit I was a Scout. I was a Scout through and through - Eagle, multiple palms, Assistant Scout master, National Jamboree participant, camp counselor, Order of the Arrow Vigil member, and in charge of a troop at Many Point long past my eighteenth birthday. But I haven't given them any money since I decided their stance against gays was unreasonable (I didn't think it was reasonable before, I just didn't give it a thought as I knew gay Scouts and Scoutmasters). If they actually started a fire through negligence, they deserve to be fined by the government, just like the Scouts who were stabbing fish at a national monument (see National Jamboree, above) deserved to get caught by the cops. The Scouts I knew weren't stupid with fire. They had lots of fires, it went with camping out in sub-zero weather, but they weren't stupid.

Mean Mr. Mustard wants me to blog about the world record for stationary biking. The guy is a pussy. Seriously, RAAM is 8 to 9 days, 22 hours a day, three thousand miles (not a measly 1,000) in real heat and rain and darkness and sleep deprivation. This guy had full support, presumably a stash of food just sitting there, and was in a protected environment, with a five minute break every hour. And he's got music - look at the picture. And a computer, so he can do email or watch videos. And he's only going 12.7 miles per hour. I ride 17 mph+ at a 2% grade on a wind trainer for 90 minutes. I'm not saying that's 85 hours, not even close. But I'm a heavy, out-of-shape, bastard, and I'd feel silly doing 12.7. If he really wanted a challenge, he should have done like one of the other options on RAAM, and gone tandem, even if it was inside. I think 1,000 miles with someone else's butt in your face and their stink riding your nostrils would make it much more challenging.

I do respect the fact that he raised $25,000 for charity. That's pretty cool.

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