Wednesday, January 24, 2007

In Which I Respond to the Meme-Mocking Meme

I would like to note that any meme-ing on my blog involves a category tag "meme" and the word "meme" in the title. They're pretty easy to avoid. Anyway, Klund has written a meme...someone needs to answer it, otherwise it might be construed as clever.

1. Memes have been called "crack for bloggers" - why do you agree with this statement?
Like crack, it's something you might take up doing in your spare time, but then you find yourself doing more and more and more memes, until the frequency of your meme-ing interferes with family life and you ability to get an erection. I mean, the will is there, but not the memes.

2. Which is more gay - writing a meme or answering a meme?
Writing a meme. Although I'm not sure I'd use "gay". Because it isn't really homosexual or festive. If you're going to be more exact, you should ask if, as a guy, writing a meme makes you a pussy. Someone has to write memes; we can't all be God.

3. In what way is this the best meme you have ever answered?
Kevin wrote it, and as much as he was joking about memes, it probably caused him at least a little mental anguish to construct it in that he felt at least a smidgeon of toolosity. That's a best of some sort.

4. Scooter said he never made out in a movie theater, while Mean Mr. Mustard is a fan of Sam Shepard. Which one of them is the biggest loser?
That's unfair. I don't even know Shelley Jeffers.

5. I've only been tagged once to do a meme. Does this mean I'm very lucky, have no friends, or both?
I think it means most of us are scared what sort of admissions you might actually make if faced with too many memes.

6. If you were stuck on a deserted island, which three memes would you want to have with you?
Food meme, so I could pretend my mangos and coconuts were steak and sushi. Sex meme, because if I'm buying myself a dinner meme, I deserve it. World's biggest meme, because I might be able to float to the mainland on it.

7. Why is question number 7 always the best question in a meme?
The first ones are whatever is on the top of your mind. Things you don't really have to think about. By #7 you're in a groove, with some questions that require thought. After that you just want it to end. Besides, flip 7 upside down and it almost looks like you're giving someone the finger.

8. If you could answer a meme about any topic, which topic would it be?
People who've used my shower. The tag list is huge.

9. Which would you rather answer - a meme about homosexual giraffes or one about dryer lint?
Fortunately, I have experience with both. But on a day-to-day basis I have more experience with dryer lint, and it comes in many pretty colors that lend themselves to questions like "what's your favorite color of lint", and "what's the weirdest place you ever found blue lint? white lint? red lint?", followed by "did it make you feel patriotic?", and "ever found lint somewhere on your body you didn't expect it? somewhere on someone else's body?"

10. Does your answer to question number 9 mean that you are A) a homophobe, or B) a lintphobe?
Strangely, there doesn't seem to be a DSM-IV definition for a fear of giraffes, at least per the Australasion Psychiatry journal, the bulletin of the Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists. But I would guess it might be camelopardaliphobia, or more generally ungulaphobia, which is better, because homoungulaphobia sounds really scientific, and as someone married to a therapist who uses the DSM, I claim I invented it.

11. How happy are you that this meme is done now?
Eh. I think it needed more questions, like, have you ever gotten in trouble for putting a picture of your workplace in your blog, even though expansion pictures of the building are now available online? Or, do you think if you had two really tall friends, and one other friend who was just a little geeky, but they all really liked Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, maybe just a bit too much, that they might fit in really well as some sort of medieval fantasy unit (Darkon trailer, courtesy of Fimoculous) comprised of giants and their owner, sort of like in Mad Max Beyond Thunder Dome with the Master Blaster, but with foam weapons instead of metal ones?

That'd be good meme-ing. I tag Michele Bachmann, because I know she's a homoungulaphobe (KSTP vid, Wonkette pic) - at least she'd never let them get married.


klund said...

A. Why would I want to avoid memes? I love them!

B. I never felt like a tool while writing this. An ass, perhaps, but not a tool.

C. Your answers were significantly better than my questions. Ha!

Scooter said...

Do you think Shelley Jeffers will ever Google herself and find all these posts? She probably won't ever make out with Mean Mr. Mustard again after that.