Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Mean Mr. Mustard's Birthday Gift

Last year I gave Mean Mr. Mustard the Menorah Game for his birthday. For my birthday, he gave it back to me explaining that it just wasn't his kind of game (I haven't forgotten about you Sank, it's coming soon). He checked in with me to see if I was upset, and I wasn't, but I told him if I was, I'd just get back at him some other time. He might think his birthday gift this year was retribution, but as I explained to him, it fulfilled many requirements that made it perfect:
  1. Boing Boing approved. Mr. Mustard reads Boing Boing all the time. I know because he forwards posts to me to make sure I don't miss the funniest ones.
  2. Hipster/Trendy – it's Museum of Modern Art sanctioned. I'd have to shop at The Tate to move up the culturally cool scale.
  3. It's not a game, in line with the returned Menorah Game.
  4. It's not Jewish (not exactly...see below) – the Menorah Game was originally because there was a question around how Jewish he was and how Jewish his wife thought he was, spurred by a 10 cent off question on the Caribou Coffee chalk board.
  5. Our company has discontinued their free fruit program. Payday bananas have gone away and you have to bring your own to work. Those bananas must be protected when you transport them, to protect them from bruising and mushing in your backpack, softsided-orange corporate lunchbox, or car seat.
  6. Mean Mr. Mustard's a vegetarian. The gift is specifically vegetarian in nature. You could use them with sausages, but they’d get ruined.
  7. When containing bananas, they are yellow like his nickname, Mean Mr. Mustard.
  8. They can’t be construed counter to a safe and respectful workplace since we lost the free fruit. They're a practical response to fruit portability. When we lost free fruit, everyone should have received two.
  9. They’re useful for his fetish needs, should he so desire.
Here's a picture of what I gave him, courtesy of Boing Boing and MOMA. A pair of Banana Bunkers (and two bananas to get him started). I strongly recommend enjoying the comments at Boing Boing, and as a fun game, try to locate the one that talks about the appropriateness of banana bunkers for your Jewish friends.


boringsahm said...

That is so weird, I just shake my head and raise my eyebrows. So what did he think of his gift?

Scooter said...

Hey Sahm, been a while. I was wondering where you went. He didn't show the gift to his across the aisle (3') cube-buddy, so I suspect he was a bit red faced. I told him I would have taken them to lunch just to generate some noise.