Friday, August 18, 2006

All About the Animals (and Zero Pounds Wasted)

Honestly, what numbnut didn't decide that they should be showing "Snakes On a Plane" at the Apple Valley Zoo IMAX? I can't imagine anything more deserving and appropriate. Pooteewheet has left for the evening to get her fill of Samuel Jackson, at least figuratively, at a different theater. Me...well Dear Reader (oooo...I hate that), I am sitting around blogging, reading the book my VP gave me (more on that later, when I'm actually done), and playing God of War. Not all at the same time, mind you, but close enough for horseshoes.

Let us begin by talking about my half day off, which isn't really a half day off, because I've been asked to do at least three different work-related things over the weekend. I cannot learn new technologies if work fully extends into the weekend. My future relative-stupidity is the fault of everyone involved. I could cancel my interviews for the two open positions for our group and gain some more time, but that's counter-intuitive as the longer I don't have two employees, the more work I have, and the truth is, I actually enjoy talking to interviewees. I find their enthusiasm for a new job refreshing. And if they have no enthusiasm, I find it amusing. It breaks up the day in a pleasing manner.

Regardless, I did take a half day out of the office to go to the zoo with Eryn and ptw. While it was humid and saturated with wasps, which make me very nervous, particularly when they hover inside my sunglasses, we had a great time, feeding the farm animals, playing at the zoo playground, and riding the horse-drawn carriage to the farm and back.

Here's a video of Eryn yelling "echo" in order to achieve an echo. This makes absolute sense, because the word echo echoing is so much the word taking the perfect form of its meaning (heck, you can echo the word echo in a cave...the Greeks would find that deep). Much more sense than when she's dancing in DDR Max and announces she's going so fast that she's "Zero Pounds Wasted". What the f does "Zero Pounds Wasted" mean? She's tried to explain it to both ptw and me, and we both understand that it involves doing something fast/quick, but she's never been able to make either of us understand what she's truly trying to communicate. It reminds me of that hideously annoying Star Trek the Next Generation episode where Picard is talking to an alien who keeps announcing everything is "arms wide open"because it talks only in metaphors.

We saw a tiger drinking, which we hadn't seen before. Here you can actually see a video of it drinking if you've also never seen one drinking. It's probably not quite the same as in person, but pretend some random four year old is shoving you, and you'll have the appropriate experience.

I found the trivia questions about the tigers to be rather disappointing as they've been somewhat commercialized. I can't prove it, but I think they're pandering to the movie industry, or maybe even receiving a sponsorship. The Liger Mystical Powers presentation in the aviary area only proved my point.

This is for grandpa John now that his highspeed internet is fixed, Eryn on a John Deere tractor. She loves sitting on tractors. He better be up here for the State Fair as I'm pretty sure she wants him to do the tour of machinery hill with her again.

I have blogged previously about the Meerkats that were put to death because some kid's parents were a-holes who 1.) let their kid climb up almost into the meerkat pen and 2.) wouldn't just give their kid the damn rabies shots for being a little s***. The zoo has now posted signs to warn other parents whose children might be tempted to dare a similar fate. I think the bones of large animals make it VERY convincing. I'm of half a mind that they should throw a human skeleton in there somewhere...a small one.

Yes, I am still touching animal statues in inappropriate places. My sister wants to be a lactation consultant, so I feel the need to gain an empathetic feel for that extension to her career. You may also refer to me as a nipple nazi, just not in front of the chillen (I was very careful to avoid letting the tykes see me engaging in nipple pinching, even of the faux kind). This is one of the first pictures where I've noticed just how pronounced the silver is on the sides of my head...yep, silver...not gray. Maybe I'll finally look like managerial material to someone.

Finally...Eryn Chicken. Scooter Chicken. Damn, am I ever one cool bird. Poochy's got nothing on me.


She says said...

Just need some clarification -- what you were referring to in that picture that might qualify you as "managerial material"? Silver hair or nipple pinching?

Anonymous said...

How did Jen like Snakes on a Plane? I went to it today also. It was entertaining. Yes I and Ellen will be their for the state fair. Tell Eryn I will take her to see the tractors. My barber and his wife (also a barber) located by the house in Tucson is also going to be in Minnesota for the State Fair. Ms Barber has a son who lives in Mpls area.

Scooter said...

She Says, who says it's exclusively one or the other? If being a judge can go hand-in-hand with using your penis pump in court, I don't think a little pig nipple pinching is going to affect my career path.