Monday, September 27, 2004

This tree...

...was not as sagacious as the last tree. I thought - hey, I'm enlightened, perhaps I could be enlightened more, or in a different way, with a different tree. But while resting beneath this tree and seeking enlightenment, Aleister Crowley showed up and started lecturing me about the Sepher Sephiroth, which wouldn't have been so bad, but standing behind him the whole time was Madonna, shaking her head in agreement and saying over and over and over again, "That's Kabbalah, you know, to you and me and Guy Ritchie, but mostly to you, that's Kabbalah."

Crowley accused me of focusing on theurgy to avoid work, rather than thaumaturgy to accomplish great things, like finishing dockets for Mean Mr. Mustard, and then threw up a bit of Thoth Tarot to predict my magickal currents. The whole time Madonna is there doing some damn characters of the Thoth Tarot Kabbalah vogue that is absolutely pissing me off, and halfway through a great cross spread, with Lust widdershins to Aeon, the Tall Man past his ascendancy and the whole thing pointing out how far from the ten emanations on the tree of life I've strayed, I scream at both of them, "I COULD LEARN AS MUCH FROM THE SCOTT AND HIS FREAKING NAMED POPSICLE STICKS!" Well, that put a damper on the whole production and Crowley looked downright indignant. He muttered, "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law," and stalked off - like I hadn't figured that much out already. But Madonna, who was the only one I really wanted out of there, stopped halfway through her impression of the Hanged Man, lingered and then started asking me all sorts of questions about the popsicle sticks and how they worked and could you put the names of people outside a workgroup on them and if she patented them and led pilgrimages to Scott's house to partake of his wisdom, well, did I think Scott would mind and was I interested in engaging in a bit of Thelemic sexual ritual with her and Britney, for Aleister's sake? I told her we could do all of that as soon as she was done reading and understanding Book Four - I figure the whole Mother Goose/Lewis Carroll thing will give her an idea for a song and she'll finally leave me alone.


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