You Weren’t Meant to Be Human by Andrew Joseph White

Another horror novel recommended by a year end list. Short summary: weird alien (or otherwise) colonies of worms and flies that have sentience and have hidden colonies tended by humans they recruit by preying on “outcasts”, although outcast is self-imposed in some cases. Perhaps it’s more accurate to say characters in a confused or in a bad situation. Those who are trapped by others or by themselves. The bugs are trying to evolve into parasites that can control humans in order to walk in the sunlight rather than hide in the back rooms of gas stations and elsewhere, relying on humans to bring them other humans as food.

This is not a book if you’re squeamish because it’s not really about the worms. It’s about characters who feel broken, but find some level of empowerment and the fortitude to empower and protect others despite very horrible situations. And at it’s core, it’s clearly autobiographical despite the science fiction/horror motif. It’s about the pain of finding oneself, particularly in semi-/adolescence, the confusion when you don’t fit, and the betrayal – that doesn’t only border on horror, but is horror - that can come with the attempt to find oneself by those trying to take advantage of that moment. There are even different levels of those trying to take advantage and being taken advantage of no matter the emotional and physical cost, which may have a bit to say about current politics as the main character is autistic and transgender and the setting is vaguely Appalachian (West Virginia, Tennessee).

Despite all the horror there are some exceptional people in orbit around the main character. Fellow victims of the worms who come to understand they’re not as victimized by their previous situation as the worms lead them to believe or who find a relationship within the community that leads them to rebel, a couple who have found each other and started a family and still find time to help and trust, and parents who were accepting all along. The very last word of the novel highlights that acceptance. A great touch.

There are a lot of did not finish entries over on Storygraph for this one. Crane, the main character, is hard to like if you can’t get past how broken they feel, how much they hurt others or participate in hurting others at first, and their self-destructive tendencies. And that narrative, and the actions that go with it, is brutal. But if you’re looking for something that may put you in the shoes of a very different situation than you likely encountered growing into your life, this is wonderfully written and packs a punch. Some of the best books I’ve read in the last few years in the horror genre have been LGBTQIA+ (and usually transgender) at heart and there’s a good reason they are suited to find a voice to capture the ugliness of the world, what that can do to a person, and what can feel out of one’s control and within one’s control.