Tuesday, December 01, 2009

The Battle of the Red Hot Pepper Weenies

On the way out of the book sale at Eryn's school, after we'd allowed her to buy a few books of her choice, I grabbed this book with the stipulation that it was mine to read to her. After all, how could I possibly pass up a book with a large wiener on the cover with two peppers in its holsters. Phallic! I wasn't sure what to expect, so it was something of a treat to find dozens of, if not particularly well written, somewhat creepy for a kid horror stories. The title story, "The Battle of the Red Hot Pepper Weenies" wasn't a horror story, and Eryn was disappointed that it didn't feature giant anthropomorphic [my word, not hers] weenies, but most of the others were, if not scary, at least disturbing. I think Eryn's favorites were:

"All the Rage", about a kid who swallows his rage (ala the advice given to Lisa on The Simpsons).

"Frankendance", about a dad who makes his daughter a date.

"Just Like Me", your stock, scary doll story.

"Braces", you don't want them, they'll steal your essence.

"Reel", with Perceptovision where you feel everything that happens in a movie. We talked about what it would feel like if you were on the other end of a crucio spell from Harry Potter.

"Smart Little Suckers", e.g. Flowers for Algernon. If you read the author notes, you find out he created an Atari 2600 game without enough quality assurance called "The Challenge of Nexar." Gamespot says if I enjoy that game I might also enjoy E.T., which has been referred to on G4 before as one of the worst games ever made.

"Put on Your Happy Face". Clowns are creepy, particularly if you want to be one.

We're moving on to one of Lubar's other Weenie collections next.

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