Monday, January 26, 2009

How To Fix the Washing Machine

Another chapter in the annals of applicance repair. How do you fix your washing machine once you determine it's not a belt or something you know how to fix?

1.) Call the fix-it guy.
2.) Have him take a look at it and tell you it's $135 (which is an accident, the company will refund you $25 for your coupon), but that it would be $300 if he has to replace the whole switching unit.
3.) Have him leave.
4.) Run a load of laundry and have it do exactly what it did before he fixed it.
5.) Call him.
6.) Have him come back from the end of the block.
7.) Have him fix it again.
8.) Have it fail again after one load of laundry.
9.) Remove the screws to the top unit.
10.) Get the rubber oven mitt from the kitchen.
11.) Repeat. Get the rubber oven mitt from the kitchen.
12.) Reach into the wires next to the switching unit and push and pull.
13.) Spin the knob and make sure it's in an agitation general angle.
14.) Reach into the wires (with the oven mitt on) and push and pull.
15.) Spin the knob and make sure it's in an agitation general angle.
16.) Reach into the wires (with the oven mitt) and determine a quick yank upward as close to the unit as possible is best.
17.) Jump when the switching unit sparks, remembering it's a two-prong electrical outlet and you're wearing a rubber oven mitt. It shouldn't kill you. Unlike the time Pooteewheet plugged into a three prong outlet without unwrapping the wires on the other end.
18.) Go upstairs.
19.) Come back down and discover the cycle has cycled past the end of the current cycle and refilled with the wash/rinse cycle from the delicates portion on the dial.
20.) Repeat 1-17 until the agitation/spin cycle begins again.
21.) Attempt to catch the end of the spin cycle before the washer hits a new wash or rinse cycle.
22.) Begin the search for a new washer.

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