Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Vacation, Day 2 - Sugar Beet Enemas

These are a few pictures from the Sidney, Montana, area proper. Here be beets. Sugar beets. A big freaking pile of the things. There are hundreds of these piles and thousands of weirdly-geodesic beet-filled trucks, some of them kicking up rocks into your window.

This is me doing my best to inappropriately touch a giant sugar beet. In retrospect, I should have stood on that little ledge and bent over in front of it so it would look like it was being rectally inserted, but hey, hindsight is 20/20.

This is my grandma's old house. I spent a lot of time in the very hot upper floor during summers at the farm. She sold it about a year ago, and the first thing the new owners did was to paint it the exact same green and pastel purple as the local movie theater. Grandma hates it. But then, she told my wife and daughter a story about how my parents wanted to have me sent to a special school where they kept kids from growing, and I quote, "freakishly tall." She said I stopped growing just in time to avoid this fate, which must have involved anti-racking, lots of coffee, absurd amounts of weight lifting, computer games, a healthy supply of cocaine and daily beatings. I'm not irritated with her for telling my family the story. I'm irritated with my parents for depriving me of all that fun and her for not applying more pressure to have me sent to said school. Now she has to look at this picture as long as Flickr exists.

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