Sunday, November 19, 2006

Ya Know Those Videos of Terrified Kids...?

I'm not going to subject you to the video of me giving Eryn wedgies in her new Dora underwear. She's been working on potty training now that the whole constipation thing is past, and we put her in her Dora underwear for practice now and then. This weekend I announced, "Wedgie time!" which is usually the cue for her to respond, "Dad...I'm wearing a diaper.", but this time she was wearing panties. So instead, she exclaimed, "Give me a wedgie!" and ran over and pointed herself butt-first at me. Wanting my child to be wise in the ways of the world, I told her, "You know honey, wedgies are supposed to be uncomfortable. No one really wants a wedgie. It doesn't feel good to have your underpants up your butt." And Eryn assured me that she did indeed still want one. So I (on video, thanks Pooteewheet) grabbed her underpants and gave her the wedgie she so desparately craved. She laughed, and then chastised me for giving her a two-handed wedgie instead of a single-handed wedgie. I tried to explain that at least I hadn't given her an atomic wedgie (as threatened), but my kindness fell on deaf ears.

So much for what I'm not going to make you watch. Today we took Eryn to the Mall of America so she could try the rides that were for kids taller than 42". Yes...she's 3. Seriously annoying. Even though she now has a season pass courtesy of my brother, we have to pay more to go so that we can take her on the older kid rides. Her new favorite? Bumper cars. She can't drive at 42", but she can be a rider, and she loves them. Here's a pic of her and Pooteewheet and a video of me and her. We're hoping her cousin Ollie gets old enough soon that he can go with her so our role goes away. We're not holding out hope for her other cousin (my sister's daughter), A...she's going to be sub-42" for the next 8 years.

Here be video...

While the bumper cars were appreciated...the froghopper was not. What's a froghopper? It's this ride that goes up and then sort of jerk-bounces down giving the rider some jolts. It's designed for kids just over the 42" mark. When we walked up, three boys had just gotten on, each of them separated by one seat - clearly practicing their bathroom ettiquette. Eryn, with some help from Pooteewheet, found herself a seat...

And then the trouble started. This is 15 seconds of video, after which I quit taping so that I could engage my whole attention upon assuring her that after ride would stop....seriously honey, it's going to be over. I know it's hurting your butt, but it'll be over... of those not sure whether to laugh or tell the ride guy to shut it the f*** down. But she it must have been character building. It did convince her that the Screaming Yellow Eagle and Ripsaw Roller Coaster might be best left for a later girl.

Finally, to the guy running the carousel who looks hispanic, but was lipsyncing all the words that were playing over the pa by some obviously anglo female (seriously, she sounded blond), that was damn funny. As funny as you seemed to think it was.

1 comment:

LissyJo said...

I would rather see the video of the lip syncing than eryn being, sh*tless (?) on the bouncy ride.

This is why eryn needs a brother. I don't believe my brothers explained the consequences of wedgies before giving me the actual, painful experience. My, my. You *have* become daddy-ish!