Monday, August 28, 2006

Appropriate Licking

I was trying to remember what I'd done on Saturday and having no luck, and I realize it's because I was doing whatever the hell I damn well pleased...sort of. I did have to spend some time at work, but after that I mosied over to Best Buy to work on high speed DSL (lot of haggling about when I could ditch MSN if I still wanted a free DSL modem and a gift card) and then went to lunch at Panera and wrote eight pages or so on a book I've been working on. It was all very peaceful.

Yesterday, we took Grandpa John to the park and Pooteewheet filmed this video of Eryn just hanging around.

She was sure by the end of the park visit she was stronger.

We hurried over to the Zoo as well as I'd heard that you could actually pet a live giraffe, something we'd missed the last time. It cost an extra $5, but that seemed a small price as it was per family, not per member. Of course, if you were the lady in front of us pretending her grandkid was related to the children of the family at the front of the line, even though they weren't, and snuck your grandkid in without paying the $5, I guess it was even cheaper. It wasn't that we didn't call her out - we didn't even realize it was happening until the zoo folk were a little miffed.

So, here's Eryn being licked by a giraffe. She was not impressed. She was actually pretty grossed out about the whole tongue thing and wouldn't stick around for pictures, but RAN for the sink with the soap. No amount of convincing was going to get her near that tongue again.

Pooteewheet, on the other hand, was not only excited about petting the giraffe, but let a second one lick her neck in some sort of sick giraffe menage a trois. She has always had a thing for tall guys.

And me. No inappropriate touching in this case. I was assured that inappropriate touching in the case of a giraffe meant touching them anywhere on the face, and I was also told that would make them angry. I don't know what an angry giraffe would do to someone, but being slapped around with that tongue would seem to be the least painful, and that still sounds extremely bad.


MeanMrMustard said...

There's a Tall Brad joke in here somewhere, but I will not go there. And you can't make me.

Anonymous said...

I would think an angry giraffe would be likely, at least since you were high up, to beat the crap out of you with it's head/neck. They fight each other by wrestling with their necks - kind of like the giraffe equivalent of arm wrestling.

If you had been on the ground, all predator-like, the giraffe would likely just kick/stomp the crap out of you. But then again, if you were on the ground, I can't think of any part that would be low enough to be subject to your inappropriate touching, so you might be saved from a thrashing.