Showing posts with label humor?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor?. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

In Which I Prove I'm a Racist

Know how you're never supposed to ask a woman if she's pregnant?  Because she might just be fat?  I have another truism to add to the list...

This morning I was on the elevator, on the way down from my cup of coffee, and there was a guy on the elevator with me clutching his copy of the U.S. Constitution (I guess "copy" wasn't really necessary there).  A serious elevator chatterer because it feels like a place that needs conversation - just this morning a remarked to a packed audience in their winter coats, "you're all radiating cold" - I asked him, "Are you studying for your citizenship test?"

Pause.  "No."

Oh....damn it.  Quick, find a fall back position....

He beat me to my back pedal, "I'm already a citizen."

Argh!  Keep trying.  How about, "Usually when someone's carrying around the Constitution, it's because they're studying for the test."

"I just think it's interesting reading."

Come on...first floor....come on...

"But I wouldn't want to take the test, it's probably hard."

Whew...we can move on.  If he's talking to me about generalities, the conversation can probably be saved.  I opine, "They have some pretty good versions for smart phones and the iPad."

"I don't have a smart phone or an iPad.  I haven't been able to afford one."

Shit.  I'm racist and some sort of class elitist.  First floor is here, cut and run! "Have a nice day!"

"You too."

I spent the rest of the way back to my space wondering if I would have asked someone white if they were studying for their citizenship test or if I would have assumed they were programming a new Constitution-based app.  There are some white non-citizens in house and I know the person who coded the Constitution app, so I'm going to give myself the benefit of the doubt.