Overheard in Minneapolis

It surprises me that it's been 6 years since I posted on Overheard in Minneapolis.  Although the site has been pretty slow since 2010 or earlier.  While I was figuring out what to do with some of my feeds from Reader, I discovered I still had it tagged.  I know there were more than these, so I suspect I posted something under another alias.  Must have been a little risque'.  I do like this one, that isn't mine at all, but takes place in a familiar venue...

Coworker #2 to Coworker #1: I just want to specify that when I said I cooked her an omelet, I didn't mean that I “cooked her an omelet”.  She was hungry, I had eggs.  End of story.
Coworker #1: Dude, what else would it have meant?

Aha...I knew I had at least one other one out there:
Co-worker #2 reciprocating to Co-worker #1: Well, I had a dream last night that I stabbed you.
Overheard by Concerned Co-worker #3.

These were all mine back in 2007...
Ikea employee to another employee: He’s at least 100% potty trained.
Ikea Smaland kids’ area, Overheard by Scooter.

Middle Aged Man to Same-Aged Girlfriend after hearing on the p.a. that kids younger than 2 have to sit on a parent’s lap: I wish you were a lapkid.
Circus Juventas, Overheard by Scooter.

Woman on the 62-mile Ironman ride: Seeing people from this angle always reminds me that I want a tattoo on my calf.
Ironman Bike Ride, Overheard by Scooter.

Female Cashier handing $5 bill to younger, male cashier: It’s from a secret admirer.
Younger cashier: Well, that doesn’t rule anybody out.
Rosemount Dunn Brothers, Overheard by Scooter.

Two women on a first date: I think it must have been past life stuff. We both liked artichokes.
Roseville Dunn Brothers, Overheard by Scooter.