Ow, damn it. Went in for surgery this morning as a result of the accident. Despite how wonderful it is to share a bit of fistula history with Louis XIV, Pope Leo X, and Charles Dickens, I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I say it's a result of the accident because, during recovery at the hospital, rather than review my charts between shifts, the med folks in attendance just assumed I was on heavy duty pain killers and prescribed a bunch of laxatives to offset potential constipation. Instead, without the pain killers, and only a load of laxatives, I had the opposite problem, which can lead to a fistula. Even after I told the nursing staff I wasn't taking pain killers and I didn't want laxatives, I had to argue with them to force the issue. Until they did some research, they were pretty sure I was wrong.
On a positive note, what was induced was probably the least worrisome kind of fistula and only cut through a very small amount of muscle. So not much cutting was necessary. Just a nick and a pair of gauze underwear. And since when did they add a heated air pump to surgical gowns? It's weird to see something named "Bair Paws" (a 3M product) with a paw on it. Makes you feel like you're at the Vet.
My sister took me in and dropped me off, and then I sat around in a bed for over two hours waiting for a fifteen minute surgery. It was actually fairly pleasant, because I spent a big chunk of that time just taking a nap. Apparently the guy in surgery before me was, and I quote my surgeon, "A five time loser" when it came to fistulotomies. That is some bad genetics or luck. Despite the general anesthesia, I was up and about pretty quick and home by about 3:30. Hurts, but it's bearable. I took some of the pain killers they gave me to see if it would offset the feeling of being kicked in the balls, if it wasn't in your balls, but was in your a**, but a bath works about 100x better than vicodin. I'm tempted to sleep in the tub tonight.
Annoying to go in for surgery, but I have to say as far as surgical procedures go, at least this one was in, out, and I'm back at work on Monday. Though I definitely won't be bicycling this weekend.