Tuesday, November 20, 2012


When I was at the Scott^2 birthday lunch at Chipotle yesterday, the Boss and I sharing the same birthday month and year, we all got to talking about the recent physicals at work where they offered $200 in an account if you showed up for a checkup.   Someone, I think it was Christy, says she knows people who won't take it because it could potentially be misused by the company.  I agree they could, but I think it'll just spur innovation to mask results.  Action/reaction.  If a company goes down that path, they're just going to end up sinking all sorts of money into a bottomless problem.  At least without  far more politicians in their pockets than they currently have so the laws are appropriately rewritten to avoid discrimination lawsuits at every turn.

Anyway, they checked your cholesterol, blood pressure, and BMI.  According to my BMI, I'm still heavy.  So we talked about body shapes for a while and how inaccurate the BMI is and I pointed out that I'm truly big boned.  I know I am because when they try to take my hip x-rays at the hospital for the fracture, it takes a few tries to get me centered because my pelvis doesn't quite fit in the x-ray "square".

Christy found this disturbing and TMI for some reason.  Which confuses me a bit, because what's sexy about a skeleton?  That's like saying it's dirty if Brad talks about his extra vertebrae, or someone talks about their spinal curvature - left to right, not the usual s-shape.  That's not sexy.  That's medical.  And not even gross medical.  You can find bones in any field in Minnesota.  Cow.  Not human usually unless you're around a firepit up north.  And most high school students have one class with a skeleton hanging in a corner.  It's not dirty.  It's not disturbing.  It's not sexy.  It's just bones.  Take the bones out of someone, clean them off, and they're not weird.  I venture I wouldn't even find it weird if they were from someone I knew.  Unless I expected that person to still be alive.  Blood and sinew and brain matter.  Ish.  Clean bones.  Eh.  I find them more interesting than anything else, ala Bones the detective show.

That said, my wife and I recently rewatched (re for me) an episode of the Sarah Silverman Show where she goes on Cookie Party and the Mustangs have stolen her mother's tombstone and had sex with her skeleton.  You can catch it at about 1:45.  Now the Mustangs...they might ask me not to talk about bones just so they're not aroused.

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