We missed our annual New Year's festivities with friends this year, as it was raining when I came home from work on Friday, and driving up to Monticello in sleet and ice seemed like a bad idea. Not that we haven't done the drive in stupid weather before. One year, during a snow storm, the car even temporarily died on the side of the road, giving us a bit of a fright. So New Year's wasn't nearly as exciting as in years past, but I also didn't lose $20-$40 playing in-between all night.
Despite not being in Monticello for New Year's Eve, we did travel up there on the first, because I had a wedding to perform. My first ever. Dan'l's sister was getting remarried and wanted a very low-impact wedding, on all fronts, so she asked through Dan'l if I'd be willing to perform the ceremony. I was a bit nervous, but pulled together a script that the bride liked based on some I found on line, with some rework and Dan'l participating with a reading. It was very short, but did the job, including the whole family (remarriage for both parties, with kids from both sides), and in a modern twist, I used the iPad instead of tucking the pages in a Bible or copy of Shakespeare. Certainly not the first person to do it - there are videos on youTube where the iPad is the star, not the couple - but I felt clever for thinking of it without any prompting and delivering the script to myself via DropBox and kicking it up in GoodReader.
Good scripts were difficult to find, so if you're looking for a short one, I'm including mine here as an example, although it's tailored for a remarriage with children. But I broke out the sections so it's easy to tailor and insert readings or music.
1. Entrance, processional & music
2. Introduction
Hello and welcome! We are gathered together here in the presence of friends and family to celebrate Pam and Jody’s love for each other. To give recognition to their decision to commit their lives to each other and to learn how to help and to understand each other. To acknowledge their resolution to build a family and travel through life together.
Standing here, in this place, brings to mind an appropriate quote. [anonymous]
I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance,
A church filled with family and friends.
I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for,
He said one that would make me his wife.
And I’d add, one that would make him my husband.
I won’t be asking if anyone has reservations or would like to speak up. Those sentiments are appropriate before a wedding day. What a couple wants to hear from this moment forward is that you will always be their friends and their family, and that you will always support and encourage them as they discover the commitment and dedication needed to make marriage work. That is why you are here today.
3. Readings, songs, activities and/or prayers
Optional. Dan’l does his reading.
4. Questions of intent ("Will you have this man/woman?)
Pam, Jody: Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end. It is to voice that intent to love in the moment, and to make that moment last as long as you can, that I ask you each this question:
“Pam , will you have this man, Jody, to be your wedded husband, to live together in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honor him, and keep him, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep only unto him so long as you both shall live?"
If so, answer, “I will.”
[Bride answers: I will.]
“Jody, will you have this woman, Pam, to be your wedded wife, to live together in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor her, and keep her, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep only unto her so long as you both shall live?"
If so, answer, “I will.”
[Groom answers: I will.]
6. Wedding Vows
Do we have rings?
Jody as you place this ring on Pam’s hand, please repeat after me:
[may insert own vows]
"I, Jody, promise to love and cherish you, Pam. To give you strength, to help you in good times and in bad. To respect our individuality, to make our home one of love and understanding. I will be open and honest with you. I join you in seeking the fulfillment of our lives. I promise to be faithful to you, giving you all of myself, all of my tomorrows, all of my life."
Pam, as you place this ring on Jody‘s hand, please repeat after me:
"I, Pam, promise to love and cherish you, Jody. To give you strength, to help you in good times and in bad. To respect our individuality, to make our home one of love and understanding. I will be open and honest with you. I join you in seeking the fulfillment of our lives. I promise to be faithful to you, giving you all of myself, all of my tomorrows, all of my life."
7. Readings, songs, activities and/or prayers
Khalil Gibran said of marriage, “You were born together, and together you shall be for evermore....but let there be spaces in your togetherness. And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.” Marriage is about togetherness. And marriage is about individuality. It is about two being more than their sum. And in this case, it is about bringing together two families to rejoice in their individuality and their togetherness.
Kaylee (Pam), Marissa (Jody), Mitchell (Pam), and Tyler (Jody). Will you stand with your parents.
Pam and Jody, will you please repeat after me:
“Kaylee, Marissa, Mitchell and Tyler. This wedding is also about you. About being a family. This moment is a symbol of our commitment to be the best parents we can be. It is a symbol of our love and our concern, in the good times and in the bad. When you do well in school, and when you don’t. When you are hurt, and when you are healthy. Whatever life may bring for our family.”
[ask children to step to the sides].
8. Introduction of the couple, recessional and instructions for receiving line.
Jody. Pam. A famous calligrapher wrote:
[Kuan Tao-Sheng]
You and I
Have so much love,
That it
Burns like a fire,
In which we bake a lump of clay
Molded into a figure of you
And a figure of me.
Then we take both of them,
And break them into pieces,
And mix the pieces with water,
And mold again a figure of you,
And a figure of me.
I am in your clay.
You are in my clay.
[Note - this is all official - a ceremony is a ceremony and there's no official wording - signing the paperwork is the most important act. Everyone can just stare at each other for five minutes in uncomfortable silence if that's preferred. But if you care to drag the State of Minnesota into it so it sounds suitably official, you can say at this point, "By the power vested in me by the State of Minnesota, I now pronounce you husband and wife."]
While you can’t exchange your clay, you can exchange your first kiss as a married couple. [Kiss – prompt if no one is moving].
I am honored to present to you Mr. and Mrs. *********.
And I am honored to present to you their union as a family Jody, Pam, Kaylee, Marissa, Mitchell and Tyler.
Thank you all for your participation. Everyone may now come forward to offer their hugs and personal congratulations.
No comments:
Post a Comment