Monday, November 09, 2009

Haircuts

What is with the sort of frill up the center of men's heads at the moment? I think I heard someone call it a faux hawk. I would have thought it was a joke, like a mullet, but I've seen so many of them lately that it seems to be a serious trend, particularly among the borderline young - e.g. 26-32. Is the advantage that it covers up the formation of a bald spot? I'm going to get a triple faux hawk. One ridge on top, and symmetrical ridges on the left and right. I'd put one on the back, but then it would be more of a halo than a hawk and I'd have to give it a new name.

Ditto for women with that What About Mary wave from the front over the top, like some sort of strange comb over. Why? You don't have bald spots. So that can't be the reason. And it makes you look simple. I'm not saying you should have a traditional hair cut and be just like mom. I'm stating that one is dumb and you should put it in the do not use bin, along with overalls, leg warmers, oversized shoulder pads, pink sweats, and Winnie the Pooh anything if you're over age eight.

Is the idea that front hair combup/overs and faux hawks will find each other hip and mate? What does that look like on their children? Do girls have combups and boys have faux hawks, or is it some sort of evolutionary haircut, like a faux hawk with an ocean wave motif, cresting every few inches? Shudder.

5 comments:

LissyJo said...

It's a flow-hawk, baby. Clearly you're too old. And the bang thing? Isn't that 80s? Isn't 80s style back? And if you actually had 80s style in the 80s and you attempt it again when it comes back and is called 'retro,' doesn't that make you lame AND old?

Scooter said...

I was in high school in the 80s. I don't remember anyone with that hair style. It's fake retro and belongs to this generation, not mine. If it were true retro they'd be wearing cords and lots of colored jeans.

Alex said...

My 10 year old son has a faux hawk, I don't think it's retro, a few of his friends have them. I'm in that faux-young age group and I thought about it for about a 1/2 a second, then decided otherwise.

Scooter said...

Faux hawks are fine on kids. I have an issue with the number of them on 30-somethings. And they're definitely not retro - at least not if you grew up where I did.

t-snide said...

Faux hawks are definitely not retro, at least not the tame ones you see in corporate America. I never saw one in high school in the early eighties. I predict it will go the way of the mullet; people will look at their old photos and say, "What was I thinking?"