Thursday, October 08, 2009

One Hair

I know I'm getting old, because weird physical things are starting to bug me that would have been hidden when I was younger. For instance, I have one hair on my head that's below my general, and receding, hairline, that always grows back. To put it another way, while all my hair has, and is, retreating toward the tonsure at the back, this one hair refuses to depart.

My response has been to take a tweezer to it and violently rip it, root and all, from my head. Tonight was perhaps the 100th time I've tweezered it in just a few years. All my other hair is disappearing. Yet this one loner can grow back no matter the depravities to which it is subjected. Why isn't all the hair on my head like that? Why can't scientists isolate those rouge hairs and trick the others into acting the same way?

Stop it. Stop staring at my head.

5 comments:

She says said...

I didn't know you were a redhead.

She says said...

And think of all the old guy ear sprouts that could be put to excellent use...!

Kyle said...

Based on your description, you're going to end up like Homer Simpson, except he has TWO hairs on the top of his head.

You could keep pulling the hair out by the root, cryogenically freezing it each time. When you have enough of them collected, you could have Bosley Hair Centers transplant them all back in. Hey, it could work...

Scooter said...

Ear hair is gross. I always think of the photographer guy we had in grade school. He was more about the unkempt eyebrows, but he had too much weird facial hair period.

Do you think I could grow my two hairs in the shape of SM, sort of like Homer's MG?

Scooter said...

Ah...rouge! Funny! You know the spell checker won't fix that for me - I'm at the mercy of technology and my own speedy typing.