Thursday, May 14, 2009

F****** Piece of S*** G****** I Hate You B**** S*** Farmtown

I hate Farmtown. I hate it. I hate it. IHATE IT. F***. What the hell is wrong with this game. I do not want to harvest F****** plums, apples and corn. I do not want to worry about G****** donkeys and dogs. GEEZ** F****************** C**********. Why? Why do I even think twice about the game? I could achieve the same s*** on Webkinz. At least Eryn would be happy in that case.

Screw you. Screw you all for even making me think about playing it. If you play Farmtown I hate you. No exceptions. And that includes you Kyle. And Matthew. May your children and nephews and nieces disown you for the wankers you are. May they promise you food when you're old and poor and then laugh as they give you g****** bits that are undigestible.

Why? Why would I ever consider owning Joy as a slave? Why would I consider it some sort of fun unless I was a masochist? See. Here? In the piture below. Joy harvests my farm. She's been a slave so long she knows not to havest the last field so she can harvest trees instead. THAT'S F****** WORTHLESS INFORMATION!!!! I quit Farmtown. I quit. If you're one of the 19-5000 "here's a f****** coconut tree" notices, I disown you. Seriously...I'll virtually beat you for your virtual tree/animal next time I see you. You anger me in a way I've previously reserved for Steely Dan.
I mean it.


9 comments:

Kyle said...

Darn. I just sent you several pine trees. I just thought you'd like to add them to your virtual farm is all...

Kyle said...

You probably just need to try out a new, more calming layout for your farm eh. Maybe a checkerboard of different crops, each with its own maturity date and a harvest color that complements the crops next to it.

Oh, or maybe you need a small pond at one corner of your farm where you can virtually relax and meditate at the end of a long day of tending your virtual crops...that's probably the ticket...

boringsahm said...

Hmmm, should I dare check out what this game is?

klund said...

This is possibly my favorite Scooter post ever.

CookieQueen said...

TGIF man - bad week?

Scooter said...

Has nothing to do with a bad week, Cookie Queen. Farm Town just made me very very angry. I haven't touched it since this post, and I've ignored Kyle's Facebook Farmtown gifts repeatedly. As I type, I'm sure my corn fields are going to rot. I hope all the little farm town people get high on corn smut (you'd have to eat a lot, I guess, as it's only loosely like ergot in it's hallucinogenic effects).

Anonymous said...

I completely agree, Scooter. What a boring, pointless waste of time. -PTW

Anonymous said...

wow.....it may be a worthless, boring game, but....wow. you need to up that dosage on your medication. I can see getting that angry over, oh I don't know, maybe the "war" in Iraq. Or maybe, your next door neighbor's dog barking and howling all night when you have to get up at 6am, but its...just..a...game.

Scooter said...

I reserve quite a bit of my anger for things that truly waste my time w/o even a glimmer of redeeming value and no way to code away the monotony. This felt like one of those things. I feel my anger was justified at the moment I decided the game was annoying me and it was a cathartic enough post to get me never to play Farmtown again, which has been a very positive experience. I'd compare it to kicking nicotine or alcohol, but I wasn't that addicted, but then the thrill of kicking it wasn't that great either, which made it all the more annoying for ever starting in the first place.

I did noticed you can now play Farmtown AND Farmville. Kyle was hoping you could pit the farmers against one another.