Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Postpourri - A Nipple, Bread, Esoteric Bicycling Ceremonies

In honor of Klund's birthday, I present a mashup. Not a Yahoo mashup with a picture and news story, an invention of his, but one from my Netflix queue in-transit list: "Inside Deep Throat. Sandwiches You Will Like."

My sister and Kyle had an email discussion about scary clowns this afternoon. I offer into evidence this recent post by Planet Dan.

I'm not quite sure if I saw a nipple today. I was in a meeting, and my eyes were drawn to what appeared to be a bit too much... I don't know. What do you call it when it's not traditional plunging cleavage, but sort of shirt pulls to the side over a low-cut bra cleavage? Anyway, there was a lot of breast showing and my eyes were drawn, like George Costanza at a television pitch. I was surprised, because I don't usually check out breasts. They were nice, but I realized that what had caught my attention was a dark spot on the bra/breast liminal. At first I thought it was a nipple - well, the part you could see with a low cut bra - the areola - not to be confused with the aureola, the luminous part around Jesus. Then I thought, no, it's more like a birthmark (which could have been shaped like Jesus, but who's to say with only part of it showing). But that wasn't quite right. Maybe a bite - could be breast feeding a little animal who doesn't understand he has teeth. Finally I settled on hickey. Then I worried about whether I'd been looking too long. What? No...I was contemplating Christ!

In case Mean Mr. Mustard doesn't believe me, National Alpaca Farm Day is September 29th and September 30th. National Alpaca Farm Day is on two days. No wonder alpacas always look so surly, if they're only getting half their food on any given day because their owners think a day is 48 hours long.

Speaking of food. Pooteewheet made me a loaf of coffee-banana bread last night. I had an urge to see what coffee grounds mixed into banana bread would taste like, seeing french toast with coffee grounds had turned out pretty well, and I like ice cream with coffee grounds. However, she washed the stove dials during baking and cooked the loaf at 550 degrees. At that temperature, it tastes like charcoal. I ripped the top 1/3 off and recooked the rest at a lower temperature and it turned out pretty well, but I can't taste as much coffee as I like, and it leaves grounds in my teeth. Not precisely a success.

Velocipete has a very funny post on his site about his ritual to appease the gods of flat tires. I feel for him. I had my share on RAGBRAI, during casual riding, and across all my bikes. Sacrificing a balloon sounds like it might work as well as anything else.

1 comment:

Kyle said...

On the banana bread, maybe a really strong brewed coffee would get you the coffee flavor without the grounds? Brew it really strong & then concentrate it down on a low simmer in a saucepan on the stove. Might seem like a lot of work, but you could make a batch and use it to inject some coffee flavor into other stuff whenever you want. For example, coffee infused pancakes could be interesting.

I sent you a couple of photos to feed what appears to be your developing bizarre clown fetish :) They ARE safe for work (I think... unless you work in a church office maybe?), but I don't think there's a way for me to to post them here. Creepy - one of them also raises the question why someone named Courtney doesn't have better things to do with her Photoshop skills.

I leave them for you to post or add to your private nightmares as you see fit....