Monday, January 09, 2006

There's Only Several Thousand Mona Lisas...

That's right, I'm grabbing my title from a TG Sheppard song. Just cope.

I got a catalog for Design Toscano today, and I have to say that the Mistress Oriana sculpture, which is some sort of bat girl in a g-string with a "cocoa brown bustier", is pretty darn sad. I just can't see a wall in my house dedicated to the half-dressed fairy and anti-fairy art of Alan Dickinson. Likewise, this "Feline Stretch" Balinese sculpture (probably nsfw unless you work in an art museum) from Basil Street Gallery (whose catalog also came today), were it on my fireplace mantle, would convince my friends I was living a lifestyle I just couldn't keep up with in reality.

But far, far worse, in my opinion, is this travesty of classical art, the "Mona Lisa Contemporary Wall Art". Most people would be content with a copy of the Mona Lisa in their house, if that was their artistic "thing", but not everyone. No, some people need their Mona Lisa to spring to life, and not in one of those laser/magic eye paintings, but literally 3-D, her beauty extending "six inches from the wall", the hands, face and bust sticking out of the painting like one of those creepy, light up, I'm stuck in the wall faces you get on Halloween. Nothing says class quite so much like not being able to make up your mind about whether you want a reproduction of a painting or a reproduction of a sculpture, but give up and settle for both. Truly the zinfandel of art.

6 comments:

MNObserver said...

I had you pegged as one of the "Monkey's Aloha Welcome" afficionados after that first post...

http://www.designtoscano.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=5556&itemType=PRODUCT&iMainCat=25&iSubCat=29&iProductID=5556

Scooter said...

I saw that thing - it made me laugh rather than cringe, so I didn't consider it as an object of mockery.

Kyle said...

Oh joy! Mistress Oriana would match perfectly with the new paint scheme in my living room, what with the cocoa bustier and all. You just don't see that many female demon/dominatrix statues done in a nice earth tone...

The reason you can't see dedicating a wall to Alan Dickinson is because you haven't set up your boudoir yet - see "Dragonfly Fairies".

Interesting that if you purchase two "Feline" statues, they are $6 off each. Leaving aside why a person would pruchase one, what would one do with two? Use them as bookends?

Scooter said...

I think you use two to recreate scenes from Requiem for a Dream.

ptw said...

I guess I have to send back the Valentine's Day gift I got for you. Do you want me to keep the matching outfit I got for myself?

Scooter said...

Ut oh...it's just like an O. Henry story, ptw! Wait...no, no...it's not. But now everyone can spend several uncomfortable moments trying to determine how that could fit into "The Gift of the Magi".